S2Epidose55 It’s An Inside Job

June 25, 2024

Good morning from New York City. What’s on my mind this morning is this expression that I use a lot, and I’m going to tell you what it is in a minute

You know when you read something or you hear something and you go Oh, I love that, and you immediately internalize it? It becomes part of your vocabulary, part of your thinking. I believe I shared in the past that it happened to me when I was reading Liz Gilbert’s book ‘Big Magic’. I know I’m going to badger it. I should go actually find this sentence somewhere. It stayed with me and it really changed my life. It said something like, I refuse to live a fear-based life. I choose to live my life creatively, or something along those lines. I think it’s fair to say that’s one of the only things I remember from that whole book. It really stayed with me.

This other line that really changed my life came to me last night. I was speaking with a dear friend of mine. She was very emotional about her mother. Without getting into the details, there’s some sort of family dynamic or something’s going on with her mother that is very painful to her. And as her daughter, she can see it very clearly, and I know it’s affected the nature of her relationship with her mother. I know it has to do with boundaries, and I know she’s had support, yet it’s extremely painful. As we were talking about it she got really emotional and I said these words to her that are very helpful to me  and they’re this. Who am I to get in the way of her lesson?

We all have these moments when we can zoom out and see when someone is, I don’t know, going down the wrong path, making a bad choice, feeling stuck in a situation, not in touch with their own agency to make a change. Of course, when these things happen with the people we love most, our best friends, our children, our parents, our spouses – we all come up against those things in life. It’s not that they’re beyond our control, they’re out of our hands. These are those moments when we really see that life is all up to us as individuals. We can be surrounded by our loved ones, our children, our friends, our spouses, our partners – the people who truly love us and support us. But at the end of the day, as we all know (and which can be very scary for some people), we’re on our own in many ways. How we live our lives. The choices we make. The people we choose to marry. The boundaries we choose to uphold. These are things that are deeply personal, and even when we can see that a loved one is making what we think is a bad choice, for me it always comes back to that beautiful question. Who am I to get in the way of their lesson?

I guess another way to say this is it’s an inside job. We’ve heard that many times before. It’s an inside job. This idea reminds us that there are certain aspects of life, certain places that are not ours to go to. Who am I to get in the way of your lesson is what allows me to let go of my desire to help, to intervene, and to realize when it’s simply not my place

So, I don’t know who may need to hear that today, but I do hope that if your child is struggling, or if you’re in a situation where you wish you can sort of save someone or your words are falling flat or falling on deaf ears,  I hope these words will give you some perspective. Who am I to get in the way of their lesson? Some things in life are simply out of our hands.

I’ll leave you with that for today. Until next time. from my heart to yours.

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dear Listeners,

Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

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