I received a message yesterday from a friend who is an interim CEO in a very large, complex nonprofit in the education arena. Her message read The Board would like me to stay on for a couple more years. When I read her message, to be honest, the alarm bells went off for me. Red flags. Negative thoughts. You get the idea. The old me would have immediately sent a message of concern. I would’ve told her what I thought right away without stopping myself. And even though my intentions and words would’ve been coming from a place of care and love and concern, I would’ve told her what I thought without having been asked my opinion.

I cringe when I think of it because I am quick to offer my opinion and it’s taken a lot of work to slow that down and hopefully think before I speak or ask permission. I may have been the negative questioner saying something about salary, or even worse saying, are you sure? Are you sure? But I stopped myself this time. I was able to formulate a response which showed curiosity and asked her what her thoughts were without expressing my own. She’s an adult. She’s thoughtful, and I think what she needs most is space to reflect.

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