Good morning from Mexico City. It was hard to actually say that. Every time I went to start I’d say Good morning from New York City’. So yes, everything is new and I’m still getting adjusted.
What popped into my mind this morning is something from many years ago. My mother had recently passed away, shortly after my father, and a new love interest came into my life. It turned out to be a really important story. Buut let me go back a minute. I was in therapy at the time I met him, I’ll never forget one day I was riding the subway to therapy and I went into my little book where I take notes and I found my notes from the previous session. I had written something like ‘likes, dislikes, concerns’ in reference to my love interest.
I remember I sat and stared at it and I thought to myself, wow, I don’t want to talk about this relationship. I want to be in the relationship. I want to trust my instincts. I want to observe myself. I want to use the tools I have in my toolkit. And that very day was the beginning of the end of my therapy. When I got into the therapist’s office I said,’ I want to end now. I want to be in this relationship, and I don’t want to be talking about it. I want to process it on my own, and when and if I’m in trouble or needing some support, I’ll get back in touch.’ And so it was.
I think that popped into my mind this morning because I basically blew my life up. I’ve created a rather adventurous experiment for myself, and I feel uncomfortable and off kilter right now. So when a couple of people wrote to me, in particular one of my good friends wrote to me ‘what’s shaken in Mexico?’ I thought to myself, ‘I’m not ready to talk about this. I want to be in it. I want to feel my way through this rather strange moment I’m in. It hasn’t even been 48 hours and I have nothing to say and nothing to report except for the fact that I’m happy I’m here.’ And I didn’t respond. Oh, and by the way, I am enormously grateful to the people who have checked in on me and are asking how I’m doing and acknowledging what I’m doing and what I’m going through right now. I do greatly appreciate it. I want to be clear. I’m not commenting on that. The point I’m trying to make is a different one.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is there are moments when it’s okay not to respond , or to say I’m still processing it, or whatever it is. A lot of times people are asking questions because that’s their love language and that’s the way they show you they’re paying attention and they’re showing you that they care, and you don’t always have to respond.
I’ll leave you with that thought today. Until next time, from my heart to yours