Good morning from New York City. I’m feeling very satisfied with myself this morning. You know when you have something on your mind that is like slow boil on the back burner? That nagging whatever it is you’re putting off that you never seem to get to?  I’ve been wanting to get rid of clothes and shoes and books, and I finally got started, Then, I experienced what most people do when this happens once you open that drawer or start cleaning out that closet and you see the pile. The floodgates open and you want to get rid of everything. It feels great. So for me it moved from being a nagging thought to reality when I got a call from the Real Real, a service that comes and takes your things away and resells them. Somehow I qualified to have what they call spring cleaning, when someone actually comes into the house. They make it easy,  but the onus is on me to prepare everything.  Knowing this woman was coming lit a fire under my arse, and I was not going to miss the opportunity to get rid of as much as I could. My coat closet is half empty.

It just feels great, and it’s got me thinking this morning. I’m reflecting on what I’m doing. In fact, I’m in this process of thinking about what’s next in my life. I’ve always been very strategic in terms of getting clear on what’s important to me. I wouldn’t say I make preemptive moves, but I’ve always tried to make things happen rather than have things happen to me, especially when it comes to work and where I live. I feel like this is an important moment of choice. I’m coming up to my 62nd birthday and I’m thinking about where I want to be, what I want this decade to look like. Do I want to stay in New York City and, if so, what are the implications financially? Do I need to go back to work? Do I need to reduce my overhead? I think you get the idea. It feels like a moment of choice, and it’s one that needs to be made even if that choice is to postpone any decision. I often refer to that quote not deciding is deciding and this has been rumbling around in my head – it’s a recurring thought – and it’s time to take a look at it. I’d say in general this feels like an important moment.

Anyway, back to cleaning up. I’m cleaning up to make space for what’s next. Even while I don’t know what that looks like right now, I do know that lightening my load, reducing the amount of stuff I have, and making order helps bring clarity. So, I’m making space and room for what’s next on many levels.

One thing that’s been helpful in this process is coming face to face with all the things that remind me of projects I started, ideas I had, and things I didn’t finish. The truth is I’m a dabbler and I have a lot of different interests, and I get very enthusiastic about a lot of different things, and then I often don’t go deep or I don’t finish or I lose interest. If I’m going to be really honest here, my default mode has been to shame myself.   Sometimes I think to myself, boy people must think I’m really crazy. I talk about this and that, and then I change my mind, or I don’t do what I said I was going to do.

At this point I want to drop that story. I want to rewrite that conversation that I’m having with myself in my head and lovingly remind myself that curiosity is a beautiful thing. Being willing to try new things is cool, and it’s okay if I didn’t become the painter I thought I might want to be, or that I didn’t actually read all those books that I bought or use that great gadget I bought for the kitchen. Those stories are weighing me down, too, quite frankly. Wherever I go, whatever I do, that negative self-talk isn’t coming with me, that’s for sure.

So if you stop and think about it, how and where in your life do you need to make space? Either for what’s next or simply to hear your own voice. Is there anything you can identify that you’re holding onto that perhaps you’re ready to let go of? Where do you need to cut ties? What decisions might you be putting off? Where is it that perhaps you haven’t taken enough time to think through your options? And most importantly, where is that negative self-talk that you can reframe. Think about it. My, my ‘I never finish anything’ or ‘I change my mind too much’ has become I’m a curious person who likes to try new things and I changed my mind a lot.

I’m going to end with a sweet little quote. I don’t know who said it says, Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds. So I guess you could say I’m pulling out my weeds, so the soil can breathe and the flowers can bloom.

That’s all for now. Until next time, from my heart to yours.