So last night before I went to bed, I was scrolling social media as we know we shouldn’t do. It was late and I stumbled upon my friend Gail Larson’s page. Gail leads a program out of Santa Fe called Transformational Speaking. As they say don’t judge a book by its title, don’t judge this program by its title. Transformational Speaking is not about how to be a public speaker and how to command the stage and how to get your point across. It is all of the homework leading up to speaking in front of people, whether that means at work or on a stage or simply within your organization when you’re trying to make something happen.
In fact, she calls it speaking from the home zone, and that’s what her program is all about. Through a series of questions and exercises – it’s a three-day, program of very small groups – Gail takes you through a process which helps you to find your footing and to stand in your truth, whatever that truth is. It takes you into your heart space, the core of your message and the core of what you want to share. It’s absolutely beautiful.
She attracts people from all over the world and from all walks of life. Entrepreneurs and founders, spiritual leaders, teachers, healthcare providers. When I attended in 2016, one of the people that was in my program was a nurse who is also a naturopath, an astrologer and a spiritual leader. In the program, she was addressing her work as a nurse in the VA system and trying to get them to embrace alternative healing modalities for vets. I think you get the idea.
Anyway, the point is I stopped on Gail’s page as I always do if she comes across my feed, because she has so many interesting people in her world, and I have such respect for her work. This woman popped up, Amy Chan. Well, I should say Tamron Hall popped up and I love Tamron Hall, and Amy Chan is a student or a friend of Gail’s, and she was on the Tamron Hall Show so I clicked it and it was great.
Amy’s book is coming out. I think it’s called ‘Breakup Bootcamp’. She was talking about it all started when she felt like she was going crazy after a love breakup. She had started to doubt her sanity, and she was struggling and suffering. So she started researching what happens to our brains when we break? I don’t think she’s the researcher, but she started looking at the research. As it turns out, researchers have found in studying the brains of people that are coming off of a love breakup or the end of a love relationship, that the same part of the brain is activated as someone who needs a drug fix. You’re literally withdrawing from the feel-good chemicals – you know, the dopamine and the oxytocin. The feelgood chemicals are the same thing activated in drug use, and you’re feeling those withdrawal symptoms because your brain is craving the dopamine.
Of course, that’s what causes us to do all the crazy stuff we do when we have a heartbreak You know, we’ve all been there. Those heartbreaks are tough. It causes us to look at old photos, to do the stupid drive-by’s, to try to figure out who your ex is dating and to troll their social media. Amy explains that your body needs to recalibrate back to homeostasis, and she talks about how your brain is trying to trick you.
Anyway, I don’t know all about her work but what I did like is at the end of the first segment of the Tamron Hall Show, Amy introduced a beautiful question which is this. What is the kind decision for me? Now, of course she was talking about the context of love breakups and her work, but that’s a great question. What is the kind decision for me?
I’m one of those people that always feels like I should push myself to show up. I talk a lot about erring on the side of generosity, and I tend to focus on other people. In fact, I have this huge fear of letting people down. Lord knows where that comes from, but I do. It’s true. I don’t want to let people down. So, the question resonated with me.
What is the kind decision for me? You know when you’re rested, when you’re feeling good, and when you’re in your heart space and you’re calm and relaxed, it’s the way you show up as your best self. It’s best to show up in the world having put on your own oxygen mask first. I think that’s a great question to get you to that oxygen mask. What is the kind decision for me? I hope that question sort of permeates my thoughts because I love it.
That’s all for now, from my heart to yours
