Good morning from New York City. I have a lot on my mind this morning. All good stuff, but there’s something that happened over the last few days. I’ve kind of been going in circles and a cloud is lifted, and I made an important connection this morning that I thought I’d share with you.

I’ve been having a difficult time making a tough decision. Or better said, I was letting this indecision fester and it’s been a drag on my energy. Yesterday I finally made the call. It was about attending a wedding in Italy. This is the son of my dearest friends. I’ve known the children since they were toddlers, and not going to the wedding is absolutely heartbreaking to me.

I’ve been aware of my physical limitations of recent. I’ve been grounded in New York because of my broken wrist and subsequent surgery I had. So I’ve been having this debate in my head. It’s like when you stay home too much and you’re not moving around as much as you’re accustomed to, you can lose your confidence or your motivation or your interest. I’m one of those people, you know, I travel quite regularly. If not to Europe, I visit friends or travel to see my family. So I’ve been going back and forth trying to convince myself to just do it. Buy that ticket. You’re going to get excited about it. But there’s been this nagging undertow in my thoughts, and it didn’t feel good.

What happened was I was not purchasing the ticket and I was not making the call to tell them I wasn’t coming to the wedding. I was not deciding, and I finally made that call. So that thing that’s been weighing on my heart and taking up this bandwidth in my operating system, I can feel the release from it. Yes, I cried and I felt incredibly sad about it, yet I know in my heart that even though it doesn’t make logical sense, I’m doing the right thing. I like this quote by Eckhart Tolle. It says, sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.

So, after I made this decision, I had a memory pop into my mind and that’s what I want to share with you. This exact same thing happened to me about 10 years ago. I had totally not made this connection until this morning. Just over 10 years ago, a big group of friends and family were invited to celebrate my best friend’s 50th birthday in Morocco. Really big deal. But for some reason I didn’t want to go. I had this negative feeling about it, and it made no sense to me at all. I was going back and forth and not deciding, and I finally called and told her I didn’t know why, but I had this feeling that I needed to stay put, and I felt called to honor the feeling even though it didn’t make sense.

What happened was that by not going to Morocco, I ended up having the most important time with my mother because right after that she fell ill and passed away honoring my instincts. That gut feeling ended up being so very important to me. So yes, it felt really uncomfortable not going to my best friend’s birthday in Morocco, just like it feels not going to Italy. That time I had with my mother was absolutely priceless and trusting that feeling and making that call and being willing to let her down was truly a big blessing in my life. Sometimes surrender means giving up, trying to understand, and becoming comfortable with not knowing,

But I want to go back to that drag on your energy that happens when you don’t decide something. Is there anything that’s festering for you? It doesn’t have to be as important as going to Europe for some event. It can be making a call or making an apology or making a purchase or writing a letter. Whatever it is, those t festering thoughts can really drag down your energy. Those things you finally do allow you to open new doors. It’s an energetic shift and it feels great, so just do it.

That’s all for now. Until next time, from my heart to yours.