Episode 67 Quick To Say No

June 5, 2023

Good morning from New York City. You know what’s on my mind today. I’m thinking about this propensity to say no too quickly. It’s happened to me twice in the last week.

I got a call from a friend of mine who said, Hey, I know these really cool people who are looking to set up an executive search firm in the fashion space in the United States. Would you be interested in chatting with them? And I said, oh no, I’m not interested in that at all. And then I thought about it again and I thought, why did I say no? Are they asking me to work for them? No. Do I know anything about what they’re trying to build? No. Might I be able to make a contribution and meet interesting people? Yes. So why did I say no so quickly? And what I did is I called my friend back and I said, Hey, I realized that I said no too quickly. I’d be more than happy to have a chat with them.

I basically wasn’t walking the talk of being curious and open, right? I believe it’s important to operate with this mindset of openness and curiosity, yet here I was quick to say no, and then it happened again. A few days later, someone said to me, so are you interested in dating these days? And I said, oh no, I’m not really thinking about that. As I was lying in bed that evening I thought why did I say that? It’s not at the forefront of my thoughts. I’m not on dating sites. but do I want to have companionship? Am I open to meeting someone interesting? Of course, I am. Yet I was quick to say no.

So that’s what’s on my mind today. Where am I saying no too quickly, and what kind of energy does that give off when you say no right away? Hmm. I love what Gay Hendricks says. You know Gay Hendricks wrote many books. One of his most famous books is called ‘The Big Leap’, and he talks about when you respond with Hmm. Humming, integrates the right and left hemispheres of the mind. It takes us out of the purely intellectual sphere and into the realm of mind, body, spirit, and that’s the way I want to operate in the world. I don’t want my default to be no. Even when it’s innocuous. I want to cultivate openness and curiosity, and I want to pay attention to the clues that are coming at me in the form of people asking me questions or offering their ideas.

I’ve had four people in the last 10 days ask me if I’m going to write a book, and my default was no, but really? I don’t want to default to no. Is that what’s on my mind? No. Am I doing the podcast because I’m trying to write a book? No. Am I open to the possibility that a book may be part of this project? Hmm. I believe in the conversational nature of the universe, that there are clues in the questions and in the information that’s coming at us, and it’s our job to cultivate awareness and to pay attention. I don’t want no to be my default, so I’m going to rewire it with, Hmm. That’s what I’m thinking about today.

So think about it for a minute. Have you perhaps been too quick to say no? What questions and ideas have come at you that you’ve been dismissive of? Have you perhaps missed some of the clues and cues that life has been serving up? Have a think. That’s great fodder for thought. I’ll leave you with that. Until next time, from my heart to yours.

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dear Listeners,

Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

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