Episode 78 Sweet Summertime

June 30, 2023

Good morning from Martha’s Vineyard. What’s on my mind this morning is spontaneity and ruling things in versus ruling them out, and here’s why. I just got a fabulous voicemail from my friend Dana. She’s up in Rhode Island visiting her mother, and the mother is a bit of a chatterbox. Dana and I are both lovers of the morning quiet and the bird song and toiling, and she said, I realized that I was getting irritated, so I grabbed the dog and walked down to the beach. But here’s the good part of her message. She said I couldn’t resist Constance. I jumped in the water fully clothed.

I just love that story because I can just hear the things going through her head. It was early. She hadn’t been in the water yet. She didn’t know what to expect. She didn’t have a towel. She was probably going to be cold. Yet she heeded that little voice and instead of ruling it out, she ruled it in, and she just jumped in.

I’m using this language ruling in versus ruling out because when I was an executive recruiter and at the height of my company, Scout Talent, I was very adept at ruling people out. I was doing these in-depth interviews and I was very good at ruling people out mostly because I was over anticipating client pushback, right? Around that time, I started taking dating seriously and it popped into my mind that the challenge was going to be for me to rule people in. To give them a chance. To try to see the good versus being too quick to say no and to rule them out. In fact, I was successful at it, and I got into a long-term loving relationship. So, that was my dating advice to people. I’d say your job is to rule people in and to give them a chance.

It’s so easy to rule people out, to rule things out, it’s so easy to be quick to say no. It’s easier to rule people out than to rule people in, and I think it’s an opportunity to talk about this because I think that’s what summertime all is about, right? It’s an opportunity. It is about resetting, about allowing ourselves to do things differently. It’s when I read a book that I normally wouldn’t read. It’s when I stay up way later than usual or take a longer nap. It’s when I like to stay down at the beach after everyone’s gone home. It’s a time to let my mind wander to change the cadence of everything, what I eat, my sleeping patterns. Overall doing things differently. It’s a reset. Summertime is about giving ourselves permission to do things that we don’t normally do.

That’s the thought I want to leave you with today. How are you going to use this summer to give yourself permission to do things differently, to rule things in, to catch yourself when you’re too quick to say no. To be more patient and kinder. To indulge that annoying family member in a long walk or loving conversation. to meander, to wonder.

I think summertime is – at least for me – it is about finding grace, about being more forgiving with myself and others. And about saying yes to jumping in the water, fully clothed. That’s my wish for myself and for all of you. I’m so glad you’re here with me.

Until next time, have a lovely weekend from my heart to yours.

Join thousands of others

Stay in the loop on new episodes


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

dear Listeners,

Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

read on

Book an Advisory Session

I absolutely love feedback, please your thoughts

Stay in the loop

join Thousands of others

Get instant alerts as my new episodes drop

From my heart to yours

Share Your Thoughts

book a session


Let’s get to the heart of matters
– to what matters most to you

Schedule time with me to:

“Speaking with Constance helped me to see myself  – and my experience –with fresh perspective.  I got great clarity and completely shifted gears. She totally got it. The experience fully re-energized me.”

Jim Conley – Senior Executive
ex- YouTube, Google, Twitter

Stay in the loop

join Thousands of others

Get instant alerts as my new episodes drop

From my heart to yours