Episode 90 Getting Started

July 28, 2023

Good morning from Martha’s Vineyard. What’s on my mind this morning is getting started, as it relates to any sort of creative self-expression. Interestingly, the most downloaded episode of Dear Constance is called ‘on creativity and artistry’. It was episode number one, and I don’t think that’s the reason it was the most downloaded episode. I think it’s because of the title, and I don’t think I’m alone in having confused those words, creativity and artistry.

I think that was an interesting episode because I’m sharing how people used to always say to me, you’re so creative. It always landed flat. I never considered myself creative because I was confusing those two words. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it for a number of reasons. First, I’ve been talking about my experience at the Chilmark Writers Workshop, and I’ve met two people in the last few days who have really powerful personal stories to tell. It is clear to me that they’ve been thinking about doing so for a long time, and I spent a lot of time encouraging them to simply start with one story. I think in any creative endeavor, as we start the process, we start to get clues about a story, a song, a poem, a beautiful meal. In the doing whatever it is, a part of our brain – our subconscious – starts to get activated. When you’re all up in your head thinking about the end result, it can be crippling.

I was speaking with my friend Gail yesterday and she was talking about selling her paintings. She sold 60 paintings. I thought I heard six and then I thought no, it must be 16. When she said 60, I was completely blown away. So yesterday on our walk, I asked how did you get started painting? Is it something you started when you were young and left behind and re engaged with? That’s something that happens to a lot of people.  Maybe they played the guitar when they were young, then life got in the way and they rediscovered it at a later age. Gail said no. I think she said she took a class called play and paint. She had a lot of fun and it piqued her interest. She found her way, and she found her own teacher She started purchasing supplies and of course she found a passion and she found her voice. Had she gotten all up in her head about other abstract painters, or how she was going to get the canvases stretched, or whatever, she would never have gotten started.

It’s so easy to shut ourselves down by thinking about the end result or by comparing ourselves to others, which can be the thief of joy. It’s funny. As I’m saying this, I’m remembering the story I told in that first episode on creativity and artistry that I was completely overwhelmed by trying to make a mala necklace because I felt like I had to get it right. It actually made me cry. When I gave myself permission, many years later, to start trying to make jewelry, it served as a sort of creative trigger for me. I started noticing color and shape differently, and I greatly enjoyed the learning process and creating something from nothing simply for myself.

I think it’s so important to give yourself permission to try. It’s never too late. There is no right and wrong in creative self-expression. That’s the beauty of it. It is simply all about giving yourself permission to try. And of course, getting started. Buying the watercolor paint set or those knitting needles, signing up for a class, dedicating a notebook to capture some of your stories, whatever it is, simply get started. You might just surprise yourself.

I’ll leave you with that for now. Until next time, have a wonderful weekend from my heart to yours.

Join thousands of others

Stay in the loop on new episodes


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

dear Listeners,

Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

read on

Book an Advisory Session

I absolutely love feedback, please your thoughts

Stay in the loop

join Thousands of others

Get instant alerts as my new episodes drop

From my heart to yours

Share Your Thoughts

book a session


Let’s get to the heart of matters
– to what matters most to you

Schedule time with me to:

“Speaking with Constance helped me to see myself  – and my experience –with fresh perspective.  I got great clarity and completely shifted gears. She totally got it. The experience fully re-energized me.”

Jim Conley – Senior Executive
ex- YouTube, Google, Twitter

Stay in the loop

join Thousands of others

Get instant alerts as my new episodes drop

From my heart to yours