S2Episode15 Anticipated Regret Is A Source Of Wisdom

February 2, 2024

Good morning from Milano. I am sitting here thinking about my future self. That perhaps sounds a little cheesy, but there’s something that I heard this week that landed with me. Let me backtrack for a minute. One of my mentors, Chip Conley, the co-founder of the Modern Elder Academy where I went recently in Baja, California,  just came out with a new book called ‘Learning to Love Midlife. 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better With Age’ .

Now I haven’t read it yet, but Chip’s been on the media circuit and he was recently in conversation with Hoda and Jenna on GMA. For those of you who are from outside of the United States, Good Morning America is one of our classic morning shows.It was a really rich segment because he was really in his element.  While he said many of things I’ve heard him say before, there are those times when you hear things yet again and they really land with you in a different way. This was one of those.

Chip was talking about anticipated regret as a form of wisdom. Social science research shows that we regret what we didn’t do twice as much as the things we did that we wish we hadn’t done. Let me say that again. Basically, the weight of our regret is twice as heavy around the things that we didn’t do – things we thought about, but we didn’t do them – twice as much as the things we did that we wish we hadn’t done.

It was a bit whoa and this bit simply hit differently when I heard it this time.  Maybe it’s because I’m thinking about our conversation on Sunday. If you don’t know – or you stumbled upon this and you haven’t heard – this Sunday, February 4th at 4 p. m. Eastern Standard Time is the first gathering of what I’m calling the rocket fuel group.

Rocket fuel is very simple. It’s about doing the work and being conscientious and intentional about creating a life you love. It’s a simple little recipe and broken into three parts. One part is about a big hairy audacious goal for the year. Another part is about cultivating openness and curiosity by doing something different every other month. Something you normally wouldn’t do.  And the last part is about the introduction of a new habit every quarter. Just go on Deer Constance. com to the page called Rocket Fuel. If you’re curious about what we’re doing in that group or you want to participate in the call, you need to go on Dear Constance. Com and click on a box where it either says episode alerts or I’m in send me updates. Then on the form, click the second box that says rocket fuel and you’ll get the link to our call on Sunday.

So yeah, I’m thinking about the call. I’m thinking about what I want 2024 to look like. And as I said in a previous episode this week, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never called people together on a call and in doing so I’m pushing myself to be a beginner at something. I firmly believe that your willingness to be a beginner is very much about, the power of getting outside of your comfort zone and cultivating curiosity in your life.

By the way, I’d like to draw your attention to an area of my website called On My Radar. It’s at the bottom of both the About page and I think the Listen page. It’s where I post things that spark my interest or inspire me. It could be street quotes, events I’m going to, or things I’m reading and listening to. This week, I posted the link to a conversation between Reed Hoffman and Brian Glazer on curiosity. It’s fabulous and I’ve listened to it many times. So I encourage you to go check that out.

I’ll end here and say this, If you haven’t already –  and if you’re at all curious – please go on to dearconstance. com and sign up for our rocket fuel call this Sunday, February 4th at 4 PM. I sure hope to see you there.

That’s all for now. Until next time, from my heart to yours.

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dear Listeners,

Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

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“Speaking with Constance helped me to see myself  – and my experience –with fresh perspective.  I got great clarity and completely shifted gears. She totally got it. The experience fully re-energized me.”

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