S2Episode21 What Happens When We Think This AND ?

February 16, 2024

Good morning from Milano. I’m sitting here this morning noodling something that I could frame as either an aha that I had many years ago, or at this point I could probably call it a theme or a recurring thought in my life. It’s around this idea of this or that, or I guess you could say this, and. bBut let me give you some context.

I remember many, many years ago, I was going through a life reckoning. I was in Italy. I had been divorced for a couple of years. I had gone from the thrill and freedom of having made a very courageous decision in my life. and subsequently landed on the grief that comes with the loss of a life you thought you were going to have and broken promises.  I was in the stage of doing that inner work when you are birthing what’s next.

Now at this point. I had been in Europe for 19 years, between Spain and then the 18 plus years in Italy. Anyway, I was having these rumblings about what I wanted to do with my life. What did I want to be? What were my options? How could I create new opportunities? This idea of going back to the United States was bubbling beneath the surface, and it felt just enormous to me. It was overwhelming. To give you some context,  I left the United States when I was 21, so my adult life had until that point been entirely in Europe. I had no bank account and no driver’s license in the United States.

At his point, I was getting up every morning and reading a book called ‘Create Your Own Life. I’ll never forget this idea that softly came to me. It was something like it doesn’t have to be this or that. It felt like a sort of beckoning back to America. Up until that point, my identity was so closely aligned to being this American in Europe that I had strayed far from this  idea that I could spend time in the United States.That aha proved to be an important full circle moment for me. I realized that it didn’t have to be this or that Europe or America. Maybe just maybe it could be this and that. And that was how I found my way home.

That pivotal aha moment became something that permeated my life. I make it a habit of asking myself is it possible to have this and that? Can both thoughts or ideas or ways of being be true at the same time? Might I be this and that? And I have to say, I’m not always good at it. But I try and I think this is a good thing to think about.  I would say that one place where I failed miserably at it was in my businesss, Scout Talent. I wouldn’t say that it’s a regret, but I can see in the rearview mirror that this longing I was having to express myself differently in life –  to be a different person, to evolve in different ways –  didn’t have to be one of those situations where I had to walk away from everything I had built. Had I been more in the this,and mindset, perhaps I would have managed my departure from that part of my life – that identity – in a different way. I think in my romantic relationships as well, perhaps I fell into this or that thinking instead of this, and.

I guess what I want to say is the possibilities we can generate with this and are an interesting exercise,e in so many other areas of our life. Work and family. Work and rest. Family and rest. How is it that we can feel less pressure, less fatigue, less onus?  What is it that we can do to nurture both of those things that we desire? Being present for our family and taking time for ourselves. Carving out the space and time that we need for our creative endeavors, our personal interests, our rest and self-care ?  I guess it really comes down to catching ourselves when we’re having our own internal tantrums or feeling sort of victims in our own lives.

Anyway, I want to wrap this up and I want to say that it’s funny because this is a very full circle time in my life. Here I find myself in Italy. I didn’t know how long I’d be here. I came with a one-way ticket. It’s been two months this week and I find myself happy, very productive, engaged in a really nice way, and I’m being supported by the love and generosity of some very important people in my life. And I’m asking myself do I really have to decide whether I want to be here or at my home in America? Does it have to be this or that? So here I am some 20 years later thinking about what might this and that look like for me these days?

So Yeah, I feel extremely 20 years of experience wisdom and perspective under my belt. so that’s what’s on my mind today I’ll leave you with that.Until next time from my heart to yours.

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Friends say I live my life out loud. That’s because I’m a curious, adventurous person and, as an appreciator, I simply love to share what lights me up. Consider this is your invitation into my fun, multi-faceted world.

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