Good morning from New York City. Oh, I’ve got a lot of different things on my mind this morning and I decided to give myself permission to be a little bit all over the map. It’s not that I’m all over the map, it’s that the different things I want to talk about are unrelated, if you will.

The first thing is something that I mentioned I think on Monday’s podcast when I was talking about the Easter sermon. I love the language the minister used, and I jotted down a bunch of different things. One of the things he said was this is about rethinking what is possible, and I’ve carried that with me. I think it was the episode of Dear Constance called Not Deciding Is Deciding and I noticed that episode got a whole bunch of downloads. I think it was because the title was really good. Not deciding is deciding is a great catchy phrase. But anyway, I think that’s the episode on which I talk about having really decided that I’m going to acknowledge my restlessness and that I’m ready for a third act. I have always waffled on that, or I’d say it and think it and move towards it and then eventually I’d go nah, I don’t really want to do that. But this time something shifted and I’m really putting it out in the world, and I simply want to share that as soon as I really acted on that, things started coming at me. Now did I get some great gig or some great offer? No, but I immediately got a couple of responses. And for me that’s the signal that I’m going in the right direction.

I’m sharing that because I really want to drive home the point of this thing which we all know – that I really know through my own personal experience many, many times over – and that is when we decide something – we really decide something – that’s when things shift. The other reason I want to share that is because I want to remind you that if you’re in this situation, the other thing you need to do is to pay attention to what comes back at you. It might not be what you think you want. It might be something unexpected but notice when and if and how the response comes back. I think sometimes we can go about having some preconceived idea or some expectation and I think it’s really important to remember that we need to keep our antenna up and we need to look at those little crumbs as cues and clues that we’re on the right path. I’m sharing that because the three, actually there weren’t two, there were three different things that happened to be in short order after I really, in my mind and heart, decided that I’m going to try. When I moved towards this idea of trying to make something happen, I definitely got some clear clues that I’m on the right track.

It’s funny one of the things that came to my mind, and I’m sorry I keep going back and citing things that came out of the Easter sermon, but one of the things the minister said was something like what we want and need are often two different things. So yeah I’m not going to lie, one of the things that came back which I thought was a wow, that’s really interesting ended up being something that kind of burst my bubble a little bit. And I ended up thinking about what he said that what I think I want and what I need may be two very different things. And again back to my point – and this is a note to self –  my job in this case is to be aware of what comes back at me it may not be what I’m expecting and to remain curious and open.

So on to what’s next. I want to acknowledge that rocket fuel never really took off, and I’m sad to say that especially because I put a lot of energy into it. I built the webpage. I invited people to the seminar. I got really jazzed up but I’m going to be honest, I lost interest and fizzled out. I simply want to say thank you to those of you who supported me apologize that there was no proper follow up and simply acknowledge the fact that it’s going to go away and lastly, given that I’m going to be reworking the website, I put out a request to 8 or 10 people asking if anyone would be willing to record themselves on their phone giving a 15 to 45 second testimonial about why they liked your Constance, or anything you might say in a review, and I only got one response. Now this is not to guilt anyone that’s for sure, but I want to put it out there again. I’m going to be reworking the website and hen people come to my website who don’t know me at all, it’s important to see something that looks like them – something that resonates with them – ad if it’s on video, it’s even better. So if anyone out there is willing to record something on their phone or on their computer, 15 to 45 seconds that we could possibly put on the website (we of course can edit them), I would greatly appreciate it. I’m not sure if this will actually take form or what videos we may use. but I really would appreciate it if anyone would be willing to help me out here. If you are willing to do so, please send it to hello@dearconstance. com.

Lastly I’m going to simply talk about the fact that yes, producing Dear Constance has been, of recent, a real challenge to me. I’m not quite sure why. I’m speaking to this certainly not to whine, but to share my process because that’s part of what Dear Constance is about. I’m sharing with you a lot of very personal things about my travels, my struggles, my feeling lonely sometimes, my hopes to find something new to do. Sometimes I’m upbeat and productive. Sometimes I waffle. Sometimes I feel lost. I’m living out loud. That’s what this is about. And so it seems only fair to tell you the truth that I am having a hard time right now. I’ve been considering whether I should take a break. I’ve been considering whether I should take it down to twice a week. I don’t know. And I’m sharing my process with you also because I want to say that I’m very likely going to pull together a very short survey. I want to get a little more sense of who’s listening, what you like, if you listen on the day I publish or if you binge listen. Little bits and pieces that may inform my decision about how to move forward. So if and when I actually produce that survey, please do take those five minutes to respond. It will be super helpful.

I think I’ll end here. Until next time. From my heart to yours.