Good morning from New York City. I’m thinking this morning about what it means to hold a vision for ourselves. Let me give you a little context. I was coming out of the shower this morning reflecting on several different meetings I’ve had over the last couple of days, and my hunch was that there was a through line. The through line was this … well, let me give you more context. Two of the conversations were work related and the other one was about a challenging relationship and this fear of the relationship going sideways. Should I stay? Should I go? What’s going on here?
As I was reflecting on what that through line was, a few things came up for me. One piece was related to when we have a knowingness or feeling in our body. Our body is both a warning system and a validation system. In other words, when we have a good instinct on something. We usually feel it in our body and that’s when we have that sort of aha or that knowingness. But what often happens is doubt creeps in, or the negative Nelly bird on our shoulder starts screeching. In all three of these stories, their body told them what they really wanted. In both of the stories related to work, both of these people know what they don’t want so much so that they’re willing to walk away from opportunities. The negative voice in these cases can be, Oh my gosh, I’ve maybe left an opportunity on the table, I’m leaving money on the table, or the headhunter isn’t going to call me back because I always say no – that kind of talk, right? But they both know at a very deep level how they want to feel and be valued in the working environment, yet it’s only natural that holding that vision for themselves and of themselves is challenging.
As it relates to the relationship conversation, my friend started the call saying, I know this is not the person for me. Fast forward a few minutes later, she was telling me a whole different story about the screeching bird that was questioning if she has commitment fears or abandonment issues and that kind of thing, right? I don’t know but I fear I’ve lost thought here. I’m not sure if I’m conveying what I want to get across. What I really want to say is that self-trust is a practice and it’s challenging, and whether it’s in family issues, work issues, love questions, I would say your body is an excellent gauge – almost always trustworthy.
The other thing I would say is, it’s important that we continue to focus on what we want, not what we don’t want. It’s funny when I think about this, the image that comes up for me is Tony Robbins. You know big, towering Tony Robbins when he gets all excited in front of his audience? I love this one line I heard him say and it’s this: don’t tell me all the reasons you can’t do something, tell me what you want. That has stayed with me for years and years because it is indeed very powerful when we can hold the vision,. When our thoughts and energy go to what we want. It can be very powerful when we catch ourselves in that cycle of what we don’t want, or our fear about what can go sideways, of missing out, or our inner musings about the what ifs in a negative sense. What if I had taken that job or what happens if I leave this relationship? It’s very powerful when we can flip the switch and shift our thoughts back towards what it is we want and hold that vision for ourselves.
I hope when I listened back on this, my message holds up because I feel very strongly about it. We know in our bodies what we’re supposed to do. Intuitively we know and yes, of course, it can be difficult at times to quiet the noise in our heads and to trust ourselves. The trick that I play with myself is I often think back on past examples when trusting myself and trusting my knowingness worked out for me. I find that I get very creative and resourceful when I think about what I want because that’s all about wiring and firing our neural pathways to not only seek but also to attract what we really desire.
So there you have it. My challenge for today is to flex that muscle of self-trust and hold the vision for what you know is right, or what you truly desire in your life. I’ll leave it at that. Until next time, from my heart to yours.
